This photo was what I wore for the car ride to the hotel and I was oh so comfy but looked put together and felt super chic when we arrived! [Although I was not wearing any makeup and my hair wasn’t done!]
1. Ok, so my main tip is to keep a small travel bag filled with your toiletries etc, always packed and stored in the linen closet for an easy grab and go.
In mine I have:
Razor
Deodorant
Toothpaste
Face Wash
Face Lotion
Body Wash
Body Lotion
Shampoo/Conditioner
Makeup Remover Wipes
Contact Solution
Q-Tips
Hair Oil
Leave In Hair Treatment
Hairspray
Dry Shampoo
Comb
Lip Balm
Extra Hair Ties
Bobby Pins
Bandaids
Neosporin
Perfume
Tampons
Tweezers
It seems extensive and no, my bag is not that big! I get all travel sized things and refill them, if I can, with my full sized stuff when I run out. I will inevitably forget something small yet important, so this way, I am always prepared! I subscribe to ipsy, so a lot of times, I take those small products and use them for this purpose!
2. It weirds me out to keep a toothbrush in there because of the bacteria and who loves a hard bristle anyway…so I always make sure that on the day that I’m traveling, as soon as I brush my teeth and put my contacts in, I pack my toothbrush, contacts and glasses. Here’s a link for a really convenient toothbrush cover. [If you happen to get new frames and have 2 pair, you can keep the older pair in this bag too, so you don’t have to worry about bringing the ones you wear daily.] I always get nervous that I’ll forget them ON the vacation and not have them when I get home.
3. Another tactic that I find helpful [but obviously, it depends on the nature/length of the trip and how much space you have] is to pack versatile items; neutral pairs of shoes, simple basics that can maybe be reworn or repurposed with a statement piece…like tiny white tanks and a pretty kimono, for instance. Rewear the same pair of jeans and so on.
4. I bring a plastic bag to put my dirty clothes in, so when I inevitably repack things I ended up not wearing, they aren’t mixed in with dirty stuff!
5. Roll your clothes. You can actually layer a few tops and pants together and tightly roll them up. This prevents wrinkling and also creates more space in your suitcase!
6. I place my shoes heel to toe and stick them along the outer perimeter of the suitcase and then fill in the middle. This saves space and stops your shoes from getting crushed.
These last 4 are from my husband. I laughed writing them, but he really does follow it, so here you go!
7. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes…so that he doesn’t forget anything like underwear, etc..
8. He uses the netted compartment for his dirty laundry. [I use this for my undergarments]
9. He puts his socks inside his shoes, since it’s empty space. [I thought this was pretty clever!]
10. He packs the “sturdy” items, like his shoes etc on the “wheel end” of the suitcase, so when you lift it up to roll, it doesn’t crush anything delicate or that can get wrinkled.
Hopefully this helps you the next time you sit down to make your mental list! Thanks for reading and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a post!
Recently, I have run into a situation with instagram, where they disabled my ad account. [Different from my actual account]. It allows me to run promotions for my posts, a very integral part of my growth. From this experience, I have learned the hard way what NOT to do while running an IG account and I am offering you those tips here! TBH, my account got hacked and I think that’s what flagged me in their system…but just in case, after reading their policies, I am now, much more educated on the below!
The Do’s:
– Post regularly, sometimes more than once a day.
– Engage immediately, after posting, for about 10 minutes [Some say for 10 min before and 10 min after]. Reply to as many if not all of the comments, as close to the time they came in as possible. They say engagement within the first hour, sets the tone for the performance of the post. Your goal should be to get as many people seeing and engaging with your post as possible in that time frame and respond right away!
– Make note of different times that you post and the insights that follow, so you can identify the best times to post etc. If you don’t keep track of this, it’s like jumping on a hamster wheel. You could be spending months posting at a poor time for active followers and get nowhere.
– Get on stories. This is even sometimes difficult for me, because I feel like no one cares what I’m doing but then I remember that I get lost, for hours, watching my favorite bloggers just talk about their day. Feeling like they’re talking to you and getting to “know” them is part of the fun and certainly a driving force in being influenced. So, hop on, even just once a day, and say hi for a few slides!
– Focus on your content. Produce high quality, engaging, scroll stopping content. Make sure you know what the value is that you’re providing people with.
– Invest in a preset. Some say this isn’t a necessity. As an artist, the aesthetic is so important and trust me…it matters! You want people to feel at ease when scrolling through your feed and be attracted to your posts. If it’s all over the place, people won’t know where to look and it makes it very overwhelming. My personal opinion, use one that’s generic and easy on the eyes but gives a consistent feel to all of your photos. I truly am turned off by the feeds that have an all orange overlay or the extremely washed out presets. I want to know the true color of the outfit or furniture I’m seeing. I use light and airy.
– Reels are a great way to reach thousands of people quickly! I suggest dropping a post and later on that day, a reel. Using popular or trending songs, help the reach, I think.
– Promote your posts. This is a great way to reach more people and anyone who follows you, does so because they want to, ending up with more authentic engagement! You can keep it automatic or customize who you want to reach and set a daily budget. You can pause, resume and delete promotions at any time. [Just know, once you’ve promoted a post, you can’t ever edit the post!]
– Check out hashtags you’re using and engage with posts that you like, under those same hashtags. Engage on the explore page as well. This can help people discover you, engage back, possibly follow and ultimately get YOU on the explore page!
– Get personal! Obviously you don’t have to divulge everything going on in your life, but people love getting to know who you are and feeling more connected to you. If they have things in common with you, it will keep them interested and make you stand out from the very saturated influencer market right now!
– Make real connections and engage with accounts you truly like to see on your feed! Organic is key!
The Don’ts:
– Buy followers or engagement of any kind. Not only does instagram consider this going against their policies, but it won’t help you anyway. You want your engagement to be real and if you buy followers, they’re probably not going to comment/like etc, on your posts. This will hurt you more than help you.
– Participate in engagement groups or pods. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this because I saw them all over instagram! I loved them because I found so many accounts that I loved following and I made some really amazing connections. Unfortunately, once my ad account was disabled and my stories were deleted with a message saying I was violating policies, I read those policies and found out this is all a big NO NO! The story that got deleted was a giveaway for Belgard Pavers! So my question now is, do companies know it’s illegal and don’t care? Or don’t they realize? Another fun one is trying to evade IG by mispelling, truncating or using other words for ones that are a buzz word for the algorithm. This is actually written in the policies. “Obfuscation” is their word of choice. “Obfuscation is the obscuring of the intended meaning of communication by making the message difficult to understand, usually with confusing and ambiguous language.” Thank you, Google. So this means, all of those G I V E A W A Y S and R33LS are exactly that, obfuscation. The other problem is, since the algorithm is a computer, once you’re flagged, there’s virtually nothing you can do about it. There’s no person you can reach, no chat, no phone. You’re done! So, you’ll just have to lay low and make sure you do everything by the book! My outlook on it now… if I question what I’m writing, I don’t write it!
These, of course, are just my experiences and opinions on the matter. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them the best I can! I’m no expert, but I do have good engagement for my following and have been lucky with brands wanting to partner with me, both paid and gifted product. From this point on, I will be sticking to the law of IG!
For anyone who wants to get into collaborations…you should know they are A LOT OF WORK. Like, full time job work. My best advice would be start small and get a handle on how you’re going to manage them. Start by making a list of companies you love. Get a feel for how you’ll showcase them, what the deliverables [what you are responsible for] are and how much time it takes you to produce the content. You’ll also want to save all of your contracts somewhere they can be easily accessed for reference. They come with a lot of specifics about what you can and can not do/show/say…and there’s nothing worse than eagerly jumping right in, just to find out you wasted an afternoon and have to redo them! Trust me, I know!
What to do first: A media kit would also be a great place to start. This can be something super simple, although everything I do is overdone, so mine is a 3 page resume. Until you get your first collab, you can introduce yourself, include your social media stats [I update mine monthly, so I notate that on my stats page] and add pricing if you’re comfortable. Once you begin to execute collabs, feel free to add a page with them on it! Canva is a great website/app for this! They offer templates or you can create from scratch!
Pricing: The rule of thumb is $100 per 10k followers. So, if you have 2000 followers, ask $20/post. Of course, if your engagement rate is uniquely high, you can ask more. To calculate an instagram ER [engagement rate], you divide your total likes/comment/saves/shares by your follower amount x 100. For example, if a single post has 30 likes, 10 comments, 5 saves and 2 shares and I have 200 followers…I do 47/200 = .235×100 = 23.5% That is an exceptionally high ER. The average is around 4% and should actually drop slightly, the more followers you get! I google everything for my ig research!
How to get them: Jump right in! Get out there! Don’t be afraid to get turned down! You can’t have an ego in this industry; humble is key…but so is CONFIDENCE! It definitely helps if you follow my “business plan” to only enter partnerships with companies you already use and love. It takes the guessing out of, well, everything! When I write my captions or blog posts, I literally talk to you like I am talking to my best friend, and when I know the product well, it makes it effortless! I like to DM the accounts that I like because it gives them immediate access to my main platform [ig] and it almost acts like a screening process. If their social media manager thinks I would be a good fit for their brand, they usually respond with an email for a direct contact to the person in charge of forming partnerships. Sometimes they also decline right there and then and that’s ok too! Keeps me on my toes!
I also keep my request brief and just use a greeting and mention that I am looking to speak to someone in regards to forming a collaboration. I thank them for their time and say I look forward to hearing back. It’s important to be respectful of their time spent, reading your message and looking into your page because, well, it just is! I also think they appreciate that!
I would also recommend making sure you’re following the business you’re reaching out to. I ran into a situation once where I was not and I got this horribly awful and brash response back attacking my character and questioning my authenticity! It was a total oversight, as I excitedly messaged them one night after seeing their sponsored post [they paid to have it pushed out] pop up on my feed for the first time. They were a local business I loved, new to instagram. I sent it and ran to put the baby to bed without going back to their profile and and clicking follow. When I went back to look through their feed and follow, I saw the message. They were totally in the wrong, in both the way they treated a true supporter but also just being a kind person…regardless, I took it as a learning curve and now make it a point to be following…just in case!
Another bit of advice I’ll give, is to include your email IN your bio. The “email” button, sets it up to send, but sometimes companies that are looking for someone to work with, like to see it laid out right there so they can reach out quickly or pass it on to the correct parties.
You can also google influencer platforms. I mainly use AspireIQ. I find most companies don’t have a direct link on their websites for us “influencers”, probably because they pay for the platforms to help them find us. So, as I said, DMs are my first move, always!
If you have any questions at all, feel free to comment here and ask them! I promise to answer to the best of my ability but know that I am no expert! I just worked really hard to get to where I am and can only speak to what I know works!
Stay tuned on a post about the Do’s and Don’ts of influencing!
Behind the scenes “blogging” looks a lot like a middle school girl stalking out her latest Tik Tok to see if it’s gone viral! We pay attention to EVERYTHING; way beyond Likes. We look at our post’s reach, impressions, saves & shares and so on. As many of you know, I do quite a bit of collaborations. There are times when I notice that posts directly mentioning collaborations aka sponsorships, ads or partners, tend to not do as well. In researching possible reasons why, I’ve surmised that people probably think one thing…I’m a sell out!
This possible theory led me to write this post for you to read, because I want to set the record straight. I started this blog to do one thing; inspire, and I will do that for as long as people want to be inspired by me! I’m going to explain how I go about choosing my collabs and also how to land them, for anyone aspiring to do so!
The first thing you need to know, is I am as authentic as they come! I will NEVER promote a product or service that I don’t truly believe in. Some people may think I am rude by declining their offer, but if it doesn’t fit my lifestyle, if it doesn’t match the vibe of my feed, if it isn’t something I would wear or use, I won’t do it! I have prided myself, my entire life, on being an honest and ethical person and I am not going to give up 37 years of hard work for a social media platform! It also wouldn’t be a good investment for the company.
The second thing to know, is not all, in fact most of my collabs, are not started as offerings. I am a go getter. If there’s something I want, I go for it! So, I’ll think about how I spend my days, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and what I do, wear, use etc…then I will reach out to those companies to see if they would have an interest in working with me! This is where all of those behind the scenes insights come in. These businesses want to see that their invested time and product/money are going to be well worth it. That’s another good point…not every post is paid for in a monetary exchange. A lot of times it’s a barter system with product. For instance, I will post on my feed and promote said product, if you give me that product for free! Even more proof that I am authentic! I literally gain nothing, financially! I don’t make money for posting many of my posts or reels, but I was able to get the free jewelry, pillow etc…that I already love!
The Lull Mattress is a great example because this is such a large product, that to agree to a collab and not be authentic just doesn’t seem like a good investment on my end. If I blindly accepted and hated it, not only am I chancing losing the faith of my supporters but now I’m stuck with a King Size Mattress that I have to get rid of! My husband and I heavily researched this company and read too many of the 40k positive reviews on Google. To this, months later, it’s the best mattress we’ve ever had!
The other area is right here on my blog! From time to time, you’ll see me thanking someone for sponsoring a post. All this means, is that I was compensated for INCLUDING them in my otherwise natural and authentic post! For instance, my latest Raymour & Flanigan post; every word was my own, but they gifted me the furniture in exchange for writing that. Perhaps without the “push”, I might not have written about my office redo, but it was all REAL. My local business love post…same thing…I was asked to include one of those companies in a post, but it sparked my creativity to want to write about that topic and they are all my real opinions and recommendations!
I hope this makes you feel more comfortable spending your time reading and engaging with my posts/stories regarding sponsorships. My goal is to present things that make my life better, in hopes that they also help improve yours! Another quick fun fact about my selection process, is that if I don’t seem to think it’s something you, my supporters are into, I don’t share it…Keep an eye out for a blog post with tips and tricks on how to start landing collabs!
Free and easy ways to show your support…SHARE, SAVE, COMMENT & LIKE
Even if you’re not into a capsule wardobe, you always find yourself needing the basics. As I got dressed today, searching for the ivory sweater [that I wore yesterday] I realized how I need to stock up on the neutral staple pieces so I can easily throw on my new navy blue coated pants and go! Below I rounded up some of pieces from Nordstrom Made Brands. I personally wear all of these brands and can attest to the great quality! I also love what a lot of them stand for; recycled material, proceeds to homelessness etc…if you’ve been following me for a while, you know I especially love a higher purpose when purchasing the goodies! Happy basic building!
These Zella Lived In Leggings are my favorite go to staple for traveling, running errands or lounging around the house [I don’t work out, but they’re great for that too!] These full length are too long for me, as I am only 5’2, so I wear the cropped, which I show below. They’d be great for anyone 5’4 and over, I’d say!
Runs true to size.
I love this sling bag! It’s just a simple staple accessory for that on the go lifestyle, especially if you’re a mom like me, and like to be hands free!
Everyone needs a black cardigan. This comes in a few colors and is a bit see through, making it a great piece for layering! I would love this over a thin long sleeve shirt [I’m always cold] or if you’re on the warmer side, a tank or tee!
This thermal pullover is something I would wear everyday to work, in every color. They have more neutral colors but I am a sucker for a pale pink! I love the neckline and wrist detail!
My favorite of all time, a slouchy simple hoodie! This is perfect for everyday wear and can be layered with a vest, sherpa jacket or even a shacket with the hood sticking out the back!
We all need a pair of aviators and for $15 these are fantastic. They come in 2 other colors as well!
Here are the cropped version of the Zella Lived In Leggings I mentioned above. They are thick and such a great quality. again, if you love cropped, great but if you’re 5’3 or shorter, these are great for a regular legging too!
Runs true to size.
Halogen is such a great brand. I love the material and who doesn’t need a gazillion white tees?! This tunic style is great for leggings or jeans too.
Just your basic long sleeve, ribbed tee. Perfect for year round and great for layering. Pair it with cozy wide leg pants or with jeans and booties for a ready to go, chic look for a day out!
3 words; Faux Leather Leggings. These are a great price point if you’re just trying to get your feet wet with this trend!
I couldn’t live without my joggers. In fact, I wear them everyday to bed, to lounge, to go out…I’m that girl. This pair looks sleek and chic and can be dressed up or down for a Sunday Football out with sneakers and a denim jacket or chilling in on your couch with your favorite t shirt.
Just a perfect basic long sleeve cotton tee, perfect for layering or wearing by itself. Comes in a few colors.
You always need the under layer tank. This is perfect on it’s own with loungers or great for under a cardigan, or see through/thin top. It also comes in black.
Just a really great, low impact sports bra that I would wear more as a bralette under my t shirts. I’d also rock this under sweaters in the colder weather to stay as comfy as possible without the annoying underwire, super structured bra. Comes in a few colors!
Lastly, of course, an everyday pair of jeans. These mom jeans are so perfect and versatile; I wear mine for every occasion. They look adorable with booties and pair so easily with sneakers for an everyday, easy style.
I hope this helps provide some wardrobe inspo and makes your shopping a little easier! Thanks so much for being here!
XOXO
Kel
Back To Basics – Nordstrom Capsule Closet Staples
Even if you’re not into a capsule wardobe, you always find yourself needing the basics. As I got dressed today, searching for the ivory sweater [that I wore yesterday] I realized how I need to stock up on the neutral staple pieces so I can easily throw on my new navy blue coated pants and go! Below I rounded up some of pieces from Nordstrom Made Brands. I personally wear all of these brands and can attest to the great quality! I also love what a lot of them stand for; recycled material, proceeds to homelessness etc…if you’ve been following me for a while, you know I especially love a higher purpose when purchasing the goodies! Happy basic building!
These Zella Lived In Leggings are my favorite go to staple for traveling, running errands or lounging around the house [I don’t work out, but they’re great for that too!] These full length are too long for me, as I am only 5’2, so I wear the cropped, which I show below. They’d be great for anyone 5’4 and over, I’d say!
Runs true to size.
I love this sling bag! It’s just a simple staple accessory for that on the go lifestyle, especially if you’re a mom like me, and like to be hands free!
Everyone needs a black cardigan. This comes in a few colors and is a bit see through, making it a great piece for layering! I would love this over a thin long sleeve shirt [I’m always cold] or if you’re on the warmer side, a tank or tee!
This thermal pullover is something I would wear everyday to work, in every color. They have more neutral colors but I am a sucker for a pale pink! I love the neckline and wrist detail!
My favorite of all time, a slouchy simple hoodie! This is perfect for everyday wear and can be layered with a vest, sherpa jacket or even a shacket with the hood sticking out the back!
We all need a pair of aviators and for $15 these are fantastic. They come in 2 other colors as well!
Here are the cropped version of the Zella Lived In Leggings I mentioned above. They are thick and such a great quality. again, if you love cropped, great but if you’re 5’3 or shorter, these are great for a regular legging too!
Runs true to size.
Halogen is such a great brand. I love the material and who doesn’t need a gazillion white tees?! This tunic style is great for leggings or jeans too.
Just your basic long sleeve, ribbed tee. Perfect for year round and great for layering. Pair it with cozy wide leg pants or with jeans and booties for a ready to go, chic look for a day out!
3 words; Faux Leather Leggings. These are a great price point if you’re just trying to get your feet wet with this trend!
I couldn’t live without my joggers. In fact, I wear them everyday to bed, to lounge, to go out…I’m that girl. This pair looks sleek and chic and can be dressed up or down for a Sunday Football out with sneakers and a denim jacket or chilling in on your couch with your favorite t shirt.
Just a perfect basic long sleeve cotton tee, perfect for layering or wearing by itself. Comes in a few colors.
You always need the under layer tank. This is perfect on it’s own with loungers or great for under a cardigan, or see through/thin top. It also comes in black.
Just a really great, low impact sports bra that I would wear more as a bralette under my t shirts. I’d also rock this under sweaters in the colder weather to stay as comfy as possible without the annoying underwire, super structured bra. Comes in a few colors!
Lastly, of course, an everyday pair of jeans. These mom jeans are so perfect and versatile; I wear mine for every occasion. They look adorable with booties and pair so easily with sneakers for an everyday, easy style.
I hope this helps provide some wardrobe inspo and makes your shopping a little easier! Thanks so much for being here!
This post is for all those women out there who feel some type of way about their “work” status. Whether they be guilt ridden working moms with little ones at home, guilt ridden [for not being guilt ridden] working moms with little ones at home or moms who stay home and want to rip their hair out for not having an escape all day from their little ones. I now fit into all three of those categories. Let me fill you in quickly…
I was a career woman, working in Manhattan as a designer, switched to teaching because it was the “family friendly” career and many years in, following my tenure, started having babies. I HATED having to go back to work, especially leaving a 4 month old at home…twice.
The time I got home was definitely nice, and part of the reason I did make the switch. I would be home at 4 and still had 3 hours with the baby before he went to bed. Wasn’t much and I felt like I was missing so much of his life. Luckily, we had the most amazing woman watch him, Annie the Nanny. We actually found her in the dog park one day and after 2 hours of talking, we trusted her to care for our first born! [Don’t judge me!] If it makes you feel better, we had a lot of reasons; mutual friends, etc, that led us to knowing she was trustworthy. She watched our son from 4.5 months until he was about 2 and we left Hoboken. Insert sobbing emoji here. We tried to get her to move down here but she wanted to stay up there with her own kids. While I consider us to be the luckiest people ever by having had Annie as our son’s extremely young and beautiful “4th Grandma” figure, I still hated not being with him all day, everyday. I relished in my summer off and once I had a taste, I knew I could never NOT have my summers off again.
Enter baby number 2 and a similar situation, except now the kids were in daycare. I hated the thought at first, but it was time for socialization and learning and it was definitely the right decision. What was nice is I had a peaceful maternity leave with the second baby because we continued to send our first to school, since it took a full month to get him willing to go without screaming and crying every morning at drop off. Knowing I had to go back to work, I couldn’t, in good conscience, pull him out and put him through that all over again just 4 months later. Then baby number 2 entered the daycare routine and back to work I went, every day feeling guilty that I had to rush out the door so quickly and only got a few hours with them a day, after pickup.
Now enter baby number 3! The shut down gave me a welcomed 2 weeks off leading up to my delivery date and then the continuation of it, kept everyone at home long after the birth of the baby. Just a few weeks into my leave, 3 to be exact, I received a “zoom” telling me that my position had been lost due to budget cuts and I no longer had a job. I did try to find one for this school year, but Art Teacher jobs are not easy, because once an art teacher secures a job, they don’t leave until retirement! I think I’m the only Art Teacher that’s left 2 districts, especially being tenured. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?!
So now, here I am, a SAHM of 3 under 4. Everyday. All day. ALL. DAY. And let me tell you something. It is ROUGH! I feel guilty saying it, sure, but I also know it’s not abnormal and I am not the only one. If anyone has seen my ig stories, you’ve gotten a glimpse of what my boys are like. They’re the wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants, jumping off the coffee table type of boys…and that was actually my 2 year old! I have very wild boys that make semi quarantine life HARD. My youngest is amazing, such a great baby, but inevitably, when I sit down to nurse him, my toddler will be in the toilet, on the island, upstairs in my makeup…just anywhere he shouldn’t be. Please note, when I sat down to nurse the baby, the toddler was sitting quietly next to me affixed on the baby shark video or Frozen for the 7,265,327th time. Never fails. Now, before you suggest it, I can’t lock the toilets, like I did with the first, because then the first can’t open them when he has to pee, emergency style, because he insists on holding it until he’s doing the dance and practically peeing on his way to the bathroom.
My amazing baby is also the lightest sleeper I’ve ever seen, so life in this house is rough for him and he started his life on a cooling blanket for almost 2 weeks! You’d think he’d be happy to just be in clothes and in a warm crib. NOPE. So After I get him down, the other 2 wake him up and then it’s a vicious cycle. My husband goes to the gym every day, or for a drive to get coffees for us, or to get gas, or take a work call, or maybe just to take the garbage out at night….and I harbor resentment for each and every one of those reasons because it’s time he gets to himself! He doesn’t understand…
Don’t get me wrong. I love my boys more than life itself and kick around the idea of still, maybe trying for our Emma Grace, but being a SAHM is NOT easy. It’s way easier to go to work everyday. 100% easier. Being a SAHM is a thankless job for sure. I don’t want to yell at my 4 year old, but when he’s about to jump off of the back of the couch onto the baby, who’s on his play mat, I have to. Then the 2 year old tries to copy him. Obviously, I’m yelling or if not yelling, reprimanding, even just having to use the word no, or explaining why something is not safe. It’s a lot. The other night I went to put him to bed and he told me he didn’t like me. My heart broke. I know he didn’t mean it. He didn’t even know what he was saying. The next day he told me that he liked me again, so that was cool, but I couldn’t help but let it eat away at me ever since. Am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad mom? Do I yell too much? Do I not yell enough?
I also started this blog to truly inspire people and in the midst of it, it sort of turned into a business opportunity. I will tell you, I wish I started this when I was single and in Hoboken. For one, I would’ve had a lot more awesome places to shoot and I did so many wonderful DIY rehabs on my apartments, but I could’ve given it the attention it needed to take off. Now, I’m doing it while trying to balance the kiddos and it is not easy. I love being a mom, but I also love being creative, teaching and sharing my creativity. This blog is that for me. It’s an outlet. It’s something for me. Yet, now I feel guilty again. I feel like I should just be getting up every day and devoting it to my kids. I haven’t had a pedicure since the beginning of 2020, might have even been 2019, for my “holiday nails”. I know that sounds all “first world problems”, but I worked my ass off my whole life to get to where I am now and enjoying pedicures every now and then was something I looked forward to, especially after being on my feet all day! I haven’t had a date with my husband, a night out with a girlfriend [other than that bachelorette party]…you get the picture.
So after seemingly rambling on and on for what WIX says is about 9 minutes, what is my point? I guess, just like the purpose of my blog, to identify with anyone out there who is having any of these feelings. You’re not alone. Hopefully I’m not alone! No matter which type of mom you are, you’re a fantastic one. If I’ve learned anything throughout my rollercoaster of a life so far, it is that while I felt going to work took me away from my kids and caused me so much guilt, it ultimately made me a better mom. I enjoyed my time with them that much more and I was able to give all of me because once I left work, I left and I was fully present for them. I also had an entire day of something that made me happy. Sure, work is stressful and working with kids or adults is not the easiest day in the world, but it is definitely fulfilling when you get those sweet notes from a student, see a breakthrough, see a student find pride in themselves or see themselves as having a talent they didn’t know they had. I can go on and on and I feel the emotions coming on strong, so I’ll move on!
I loved my job, short and sweet. And I love my kids. And now I love my blog. I love making my photo shoots an artistic experience. I think about everything; lighting, rule of thirds, angles, locations, backgrounds…I instantly switch gears to graphic design mode when creating stories or posts of sale items…and it’s now like a job. Except, my kids don’t understand and think I am just ignoring them while I am on my phone. After I post, the first few minutes of engagement [commenting, liking and so on] is the most important for my post to reach more eyes. If I put my phone down to play with the kids, my engagement goes down and it ultimately hurts me and all of my prior hard work is for nothing. Forget about trying to clean the house, do laundry or any of the renovation tasks! [and no, my kids do not all nap at the same time, they like to stagger.]
So, how do I balance it all? When I figure it out, I’ll be sure to write another blog post. For now, I just lay awake at night, attempting to decompress while ultimately running the whole day over in my head and overthinking everything. “Tomorrow, I’m not going to yell; not even once.” “Did I play with the kids enough today?” “I literally got nothing done all day. How is that possible?” Do you do this when you get into bed at night? Writing is truly therapeutic for me. So, I enjoy sitting down to write these thoughts out and THAT does help me relax a bit. As I sit here, “working” on one of the things that I love and brings me joy, I look left at the baby monitor and see another thing that I love more than anything in this world, sleeping peacefully and I think to myself, what a wonderful world! JK…it was too easy to insert those Louie Armstrong lyrics. It’s not untrue though. These are definitely good problems to have and some might read this and think I sound like a huge jerk and that’s ok. Everyone has their own story but this is mine. As always, one of my main goals is to show my true self and be relatable. I want to inspire others or at least let you know that when you’re feeling uninspired, you’re not alone.
I don’t book massages, I don’t go to regular doctor checkups, I don’t do a lot of things that my friends make sure they find time to do…because I feel guilty being away from my kids. Is this wrong? Maybe. Just the other day, I was complaining to my husband that I don’t have enough time in the day for all I need to do and especially just for myself. He said, “I’ll take the kids to the park for a few hours and you can do you.” To which, I retorted, “Well, I want to go to the park. I don’t want to miss out on family time and seeing them run around, laugh and play!” Does anyone else have this struggle?
I feel like the saying, “the grass is always greener…” couldn’t apply more to this situation. When I worked full time, I resented the world because all I want to do it be home. Now that I’m home, I resent the world for our house not having more structure so that things just roll smoothly. I want it all. I want me time but not at the expense of my family. I wish all my kids WOULD nap at once, so I wouldn’t have guilt about doing something for me; watching a show, doing my nails, engaging on instagram, writing blog posts, you get the picture. I want to be the perfect mom and I am far from it. Our new goal is to establish a routine in the house, that could somehow, miraculously solve all the world’s problems. In the meantime, my advice to you is, keep up the good work and try to let go of the mom guilt, even just a little…because it’s a real thing and no matter what, I think we’re going to have it for the rest of our lives. Remember, YOU ARE AMAZING!!
There may have been next to no reason for writing this post, but I certainly feel better having gotten it all down in words. As always, if it helps even just one person…I consider that a win.
I can remember the day we booked our first flight to Florida to see my mother. She moved down just three months prior, days after my first son, her first grandchild was born! We decided that we would alternate taking trips back and forth every few months so that we wouldn’t miss too much of the baby’s growing up and so he would know his grandparents. So, here I am, beyond excited; we got the email confirmation, we’re leaving in a few weeks, omg I can’t wait!!
Then the reality hit. How the hell am I going to fly to Florida, for a week, with a 3 month old baby and possibly be able to bring everything I need?! I mean, look around! We’ve got 6 different types of apparatuses, 2 strollers, our everyday diaper bag and our weekender diaper bag, ALL the diapers and wipes…and the list goes on!
After I got over the initial skepticism of this actually being manageable, the panic set in. I’ve heard horror stories of babies on planes and their little ears being in pain! The last thing I wanted was for him to be hurting and the second to last thing I wanted was to be “those†people with the screaming baby! “Oh Mr. Extremely kind flight attendant, is that offer for a cocktail still on the table?!â€
Spoiler alert, he was a perfect angel and we never had an issue. In fact, he nursed and went to sleep for the entire flight, there and back…couldn’t have gone better. Sorry, if you’ve experience anything different. If it makes you feel any better, we attempted to travel down again when he was about 21 months old and I was 8 months pregnant with my second. I was alone, with my son, as my husband was traveling. Long story short, I got stuck on a plane, on the runway, for 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS, with an almost 2 year old. Did I mention I was also 8 months pregnant? It was an insane experience. When they were finally able to pull back up to the jetway to have us switch planes, I almost just went home. I didn’t though. We got on the new plane and off to Orlando we went. Again, my toddler being a perfect angel. I almost made the nice woman sitting next to me his unofficial godmother. He was sitting on her lap, singing and coloring. People are really amazing.
Now to the point of this post; travel tips! I don’t know it all and I’m sure there are so many better methods than mine, but I can definitely offer you ideas or advice that we have found worked for us and were truly helpful! Here we go!
1. Infant carseats are allowed on the plane! You will have to buy a seat for it [but if it’s not a deal breaker to NOT have it, you can see if there is any empty seat next to yours at the time of boarding and they’ll let you snag it for free! [This is what we did,] and then you can place it rear facing, like in the car, but it can make it’s trek with you, same as if you were driving to Starbucks! This worked so well because I had the travel sound machine and after I nursed him, I placed him right in there with his waves playing and he slept like he was in the car the whole time! If you get up there and they say it’s a no go, you can leave the seat with the stroller and they put it right under the plane with the extra carryons! Usually, before you get off the plane, your stroller is waiting for you! Usually.
2. You can pack ANYTHING you want [if it’s legal, of course] in a carseat travel bag, without weight penalty. For one the trips down, when our son was older, we actually brought our Graco forever carseat with us, in a carseat travel bag. It can be worn like a backpack and they don’t weigh carseats or count them as luggage. So, it’s a great opportunity to pack all of those extra diapers, wipes, snacks, shoes, clothes…you get the picture. I wouldn’t put anything breakable, of course, because it does go under the plane! It will come out with your other checked bags, on the conveyer belt, at baggage claim.
3. You can rent carseats with your rental car! Once we were two boys deep, we were like the luvs commercial and totally got over our skepticism in rental carseats. I will say, the ones we had were not the cushy, high end carseats we had at home. They were an off brand that left a lot to the imagination, and they took a minute for my husband to install, but we did it and for approximately $10/day each, it was worth it to not have to bring ours. One kid was one thing, two was a whole different ball game. Now, we have 3 and we just don’t leave home. Just Kidding!
4. If you are traveling to see family and the opportunity to buy a carseat is an option, I’d recommend it…and then have them return it once you leave! When I go down with my husband, we rent a car. That time I got stuck on the plane and was alone, my parents picked us up from the airport, so this was the only option we had to make that plan work. My son was also past the stage of spitting up and was still in diapers, so accidents and other bodily functions weren’t an issue. We returned that carseat in as perfect condition as when it was purchased! Especially, because we only really used it to come and go from the airport and maybe a restaurant run during those few days!
5. Hotel rooms usually offer a crib or pack n play, for free, if you ask them ahead of time! When you book your room, either ask the associate or put it in notes under special accommodations, if you’re booking online. I bring my own crib sheet, but this has been extremely helpful when traveling with the kids! One or two less things to pack or worry about!
6. I’m going to link one of my favorite travel accessories, for just around town! It’s a forehead strap that keeps their heads held up when sleeping. I #founditonamazon and it’s my go to recommendation, for once your little ones go forward facing in the car. If they’re anything like mine, the second I pull out of the driveway, it’s like they have narcolepsy and out they go! I can’t stand to see the bobbing head resting on their chest or knees. My neck hurts looking at it. With anything, you have to watch them closely and make sure it’s positioned correctly. My oldest got to the point that when we’d leave the beach, he’d be so tired and he knew he’d fall asleep, so I’d get him all settled and place this little gem across his forehead. Out he’d go and him and his trachea would have a peaceful ride up the parkway.
7. The travel sound machine. I have two; an actual travel one that runs on batteries and clips onto his stroller, infant seat, pack ‘n play etc and then our regular ones that we have plugged in, in their rooms all the time, but they also run on batteries when unplugged.
8. Winter items that I couldn’t live without are my infant seat or stroller seat buntings and my stroller gloves! They attach and remain on the seats and handle, so you just fold up your stroller and throw it in the car or leave it outside your apartment door [in our case, when we lived in Hoboken]. When you pull it out or need it, everything is right there, ready to go! My brother-in-law [a 25 year old, bachelor in Hoboken] actually got me the gloves because he saw them on a stroller in his building and thought they’d be useful! The best gift ever!
9. Rent what you need! There are companies out there who literally rent whatever equipment you need for your vacation. Just google “rent baby equipment” and check out what populates. There are some specific to different areas and some who deliver to all of the major areas of travel. Some offer pickup and delivery, depending on where and what. I’ve seen some with cleaning fees and delivery fees, but overall, it isn’t that much for the benefit of not having to worry about it!
10. Just try to enjoy it. You have kids. Kids cry. They don’t always adapt and sleep well out of their environment. We just spent the weekend from hell [come nap time and bed time] an hour away from home, in LBI! Try to make the best of it, be flexible, patient and have lots and lots of wine on hand!
Photo is on the plane home with my toddler, 8 mos pregnant!
I hope you found something here helpful and I wish you the best in your travels! Thanks for being here!
Photo was right after our 22 week appointment, when we found out our first was a boy!
This post was inspired by 2 of my friends asking what I had on my registry…within a few days of each other! After 3 kids, I definitely went through all of the stages…with number 1, I registered for everything. Of course I did, I was excited and couldn’t wait to nest! I very quickly discovered how unnecessary that was, as we quickly ran out of space in our Hoboken apartment. While I will list all of the things that I think are “essential” or maybe I should just say, are nice to have around; I will preface it by saying, if you can borrow a majority of it, do it! Baby’s are so different; what one loves, another might hate and this stuff isn’t cheap. It can also be bulky and take up a lot of space! Some items are worth the investment, a stroller for instance or a crib…but that $500 mamaroo? Borrow it. Ok, here’s my list, broken down by category. [At the end of the post, I will include some helpful ideas for the baby shower!]
[Pro Tip: Some stores; Target, Amazon and Buy Buy Baby, to name a few, offer completion discounts if you register with them. So, once the shower is over, you can buy anything you went that’s remaining and receive anywhere from 10-20% off. So, think about that before you head to Babylist. I am not sure if they offer that, but they may!]
Sleep
Bassinet[and then whatever mattress and sheets go with it]
Monitor [This is the only monitor I’ve found with a split screen feature. The quality is amazing and I’ve had it now for over 3 years. No WIFI too, which is a plus]
Humidifier[I have and love this one bc it has a tray for oils]
Boppy Pillow[I prefer this over the Breastfriend bc it’s less work to use it in a pinch and also serves other purposes like to prop baby up when lounging or learning to sit]
Nipple Shield[You might never need it, but you’ll want it on hand if you do]
Breast Pump[You can usually get a free one through your insurance but if you can’t, I HIGHLY recommend this one…I have tried Medela [hated], Spectra, which I also love but they’re big and this Ameda; this one is just the smallest and so convenient without compromising hospital grade and quality]
Stroller[This is my second stroller and I wish I got it off the bat. I rank it higher than the Vista for so many reasons, it should be it’s own blog post; all practical, just trust me on all fronts]
Have a diaper depot or raffle where you ask people to bring diapers of varying sizes to enter a raffle for a gift. You can include a little note in the invitation assigning a brand and size to make it easier, so you ensure you don’t get all NB and no size 1.
You can also ask people to bring a book signed inside, rather than a card and start the baby’s library!
Photo is a selfie I took of me and our second son, in the hospital.
You’re going to blink and the registry process will be a thing of the past and you’ll be holding your little bundle of joy in your arms! Rest assured, you’ll be totally prepared if you go off of the list above! Congrats on your blessing and enjoy every second!
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Hey friends! Here’s a list of promo codes/links for all of my faves! I update them all the time, so make sure to check back frequently! Let me know if you’re looking for anything particular! Happy Shopping!
